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Missionary Relationships. What does the Bible say?
The other day I heard a new phrase that sent a shiver down my spine. The phrase, “missionary dating” and its concept are not new, just new to me. Missionary dating is a term used by Christians to describe a person of faith dating a person with differing beliefs, for the purpose of influencing that person to convert to Christianity.
My concern with this philosophy is several-fold and the ramifications, HUGE!
The term “missions” is often used to justify personal connections outside of God’s boundaries; whether business, friendships, love or any other kind of association.
The motive for entering into such relationships is, more often than not, a self-centered pursuit rather than a godly one. For example;
- A romance pursued because of a physical attraction is exactly that, non-spiritual, purely physical.
- A business partnership with someone deemed to be an expert at what they do, likely has more to do with a desire to prosper in some way, rather than to have a kingdom impact.
- An opportunity presented to show-case God given gifts and talents in an environment that invites a compromise of values, likely has everything to do with exalting ones-self, instead of glorifying God.
Even if the intent for pursuing the relationship seems pure, the reason for forming such alliances may be hidden deeper within the heart. Here are some thought indicators; “If he or she just spends a bit of time with me, I know I can be a good influence in his/her life.” – or – “I know what they are doing is unethical, but I will convince them that there is a better way; If they like me and see that I’m cool, then they like Jesus too”; these thoughts should raise a red flag.
When you buy into the deception that what you say or do is going to be the thing that prompts a person to choose Jesus, you wrongfully place yourself in the position of being God to that person. You can not make other people believe in Jesus. Only God can do that.
Additionally, there is at best a 50% chance that you will have the influence. More likely than not, the missional relationship will backfire. Have you ever been around someone who swears a lot? Have you noticed how those words slowly creep into your thoughts and before long, you swear out loud?
It is dangerous to place yourself in a position where you are tempted to depart from God’s will. Countless stories exist of prominent Christian figures falling into terrible sin. I know of a young Christian fellow who determined missionary dating was a wise choice. He recently converted to Buddhism, the faith of his girlfriend. Many have abandoned their faith because of the influence of others.
We were commissioned to go out into the world to share the good news about Jesus. Early missionaries had very strict boundaries. They did not form personal alliances with non-believers. They made huge sacrifices, with little or no personal gain, all for the sake of sharing the gospel.
To form an intentional bond with an non-believer is in direct conflict with the word of God. Paul likened these kinds of relationships to a partnership between Christ and the devil. Paul said, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Instead come out and be separated.” 2 Corinthians 6:14-17.
Friend, if you want to be a missionary, it would be wise to establish boundaries!
On the other hand, the bible gives us advice for forming good connections. God’s idea; fellowship. Fellowship by definition is association with people who share the same interests. For Christians, someone who will help you fight against sin. These relationships are sacred and have God at the center. Companionship with another believer is necessary, invaluable and meant to be life-giving.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
Do you really believe?
Lately I’ve been asking myself, am I ready? How about you? Do you really believe that Jesus is coming back? Do you believe He could come back at any minute?
The way you are living your life at this very moment will answer that last question.
Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.” Matthew 7:13.
Are you on the narrow path, or will you be like the people in this church on the day He arrives?
Behold He is coming, ready or not!
Rapture from James Mo on Vimeo.
Shalom aleichem
~dl.
Be Filled
A few weeks back Taelyn attended a week long, daytime, VBS (Vacation Bible School). The kids had such a great time. At the end of the week the kids each received a take-home CD. The CD was loaded with all the wonderful catchy tunes that the kids had learned that week. It was the kind of music that sends thousands to their feet, and raises the arms and wiggles the hips of even the most conservative of worshippers.
Tae and I love to sing. Sing out loud. When we are in the mood, mostly while driving, we like to belt it out. There are times however, that we just don’t feel like singing.
As I drove him home at the end of Friday, the last day of VBS, Tae’s eyelids were droopy and his head started bobbing. He was nearly asleep in his car seat and I didn’t want him falling asleep at that hour. I quickly pressed play on his new CD and turned the volume full-up. Before I could even adjust my rear-view mirror to peek, I heard Tae’s little voice singing along.
When the song had ended Taelyn said, “Mom, I don’t even want to sing, but I just can’t stop myself.” I smiled and thought to myself, “ Now that is the power of the Holy Spirit.” The Holy Spirit nudges you to do the things that glorify God the most. His power is most evident when you find yourself doing those things when don’t even feel like doing them.
Sadly, many Christians live their lives void of this power, and therefore, miss out on the true abundant life. Now to be clear, all true believers have the Holy Spirit, but not all believers are filled with the Holy Spirit; our sin prevents it. Yet, God commanded His children to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The use of the verb “to be filled” implies that it is not by one’s own doing, but that God does the filling.
So how do we allow God to fill us up with His Spirit? GOOD QUESTION, I’m glad you asked.
The Holy Spirit will have more power as you begin to make good choices. The spiritual disciplines are, by God’s design, a way to put yourself in a posture that allows Him to fill you. When you spend time praying and fasting, praising God and reading His word – you are spending time with God. The more time you spend with God the more likely you are to want to become like Him. When you want to become like Him, you begin to give up some of the sin-filled practices.
When you make the decision to resist sin and spend more time with God you will experience a spiritual detox. With your old nature gone, there is more room in your heart for the Holy Spirit. That’s when you will see His awesome display of power first hand.
The Holy Spirit’s purpose is always, first and foremost, to glorify and give evidence to Jesus as the Messiah. In addition, He was sent by Jesus to purify you. As the Spirit has more room in you, you might begin to find yourself leaping tall buildings with a single bound. No wait – that’s a different superhero story. 
You will begin to find yourself doing things quite out of character – your character that is. Just like Taelyn, singing when he didn’t even feel like singing, you will do things that glorify God even when you don’t feel like doing them.
Rather than praising and giving thanks to God only in the good times, you will praise Him for the difficult times as well. In place of being impatient with your children, you will find yourself sitting a spell, laughing and being silly with them. Rather than criticizing your husband, you will shower him with words of encouragement. Instead of dreading the weekly call from your mother-in-law, you will find yourself calling her first, and feeling joy in your heart while chatting to her. Now that my friend, is the power of the Holy Spirit.
While you cannot fill yourself with the Holy Spirit – the amount of filling will be in direct proportion to the amount of space you are willing to give up in your own heart. So how willing are you?
Shalom Aleichem
~dl.
Don’t Tell Me That!
It’s cherry season in Kelowna and cherries are one of Kelly’s favorite fruit. Last week we were invited to a friend’s house to pick cherries from their tree. Kelly quickly jumped at the chance, packed a ladder, grabbed the biggest buckets he could find, and off we went. You might have thought Kelly won the lottery by the look on his face. He had a huge smile as he spotted the tree; huge and drooping with cherries.
Picking and eating, Kelly spent the next hour humoring himself by spitting the pits at the birds who were contending for ‘his’ fruit. I humbly suggested Kelly not eat the fruit until we had taken it home and washed it, because our friends had sprayed their tree. Of course Kelly found no wisdom in my words.
Arriving home, content with his harvest, Kelly washed some of his cherries, placed them in a bowl and settled down in front of the television for a feast. While he ate, I picked through the rest of the cherries to discard the rotting ones, and that is when horror struck me. The bowl of cherries was crawling with worms! Worms that reared their ugly little white heads, and appeared to stick their slimy tongues out at me in taunt. I screamed, and to Kelly’s dismay, I yanked the bowl out of his lap. After I explained my actions, Kelly groaned and said, “ AHHH – I wish you never told me that.”
The truth is, even when sprayed, cherries sometimes have worms. It’s one of those things that you don’t really want to know, but once you know, you feel obliged to tell others.
I don’t mean to compare God’s instructions to a bowl full of cherries with worms, but I couldn’t help but laugh the other day as I shared a truth from the Bible with a friend. As I told her about a passage that I had read that morning, my friend covered her ears, groaned, and exhorted – “Don’t tell me – I don’t want to know!” Oddly, I understood exactly what my friend was experiencing.
There are things in the Bible I wish God never said, or at least wish I didn’t know. Things like;
- I’m supposed to be a submissive wife.
- I’m supposed to love my enemies and pray for them.
- I am to honor those who have authority over me: prime ministers, corporate authorities, pastors and yes, parents, even if I don’t agree with them. (Note to wives: husbands are included in that list too.)
- I am to give away ten percent (at least) of my hard earned money to the church, ie: people that I don’t know all that well, so that they can use it in whatever way they deem best, at the same time, I am to deny myself of the pleasures in this world.
Oh and by the way, I am to do all this with joy in my heart and not complaining!
I have a counter-will issue. Show me a rule and I’ll break it. Show me a line and I will cross it. Once, while wrestling with God about what He was telling me I needed to do, I stamped my feet and shouted at Him out loud, just like a little girl might do, “I WISH I NEVER KNEW THIS”!
Sometimes it seems the Bible is taunting – or is that daunting? Maybe both! Living in ignorance to God’s instructions can at times, seem easier. Just as I felt obliged to tell my husband about the worms in his cherries for obvious reasons – the writers of the Bible can be credited for their strong warning to us. Likewise, we have an obligation to tell others the truth, in an act of love!
A person can, unknowingly, pop a cherry full of worms and become ill from the maggot infested fruit. Once you know at least you can make an informed decision.
Just as easily, not knowing the truth can lead us into some dangerous situations. God’s hedge of protection over us can only be found within the walls of His divine will. When we step outside those walls we are on the enemy’s turf. Obedience = Protection.
If you are in Christ, no doubt you have had an experience like I have; where the Word from God’s own lips, as tough as it was to hear, transformed my thinking and saved me from certain destruction.
Will you share God’s word today – even if it isn’t the most welcomed message!
Aleichem Shalom.
~dl.
The new “However-you-want-it” Christianity!
I have a passion for coffee. My intense love for this deliciously brewed warm beverage is quite specific. Not just any coffee will do – it must be really good coffee. Having the realization that there was a difference, that I could have a plain old cup of low quality java – or – I could have really great coffee experience, caused me to decide that as much as it was up to me, I would never be without “good” coffee again.
My favorite morning cup is an Italian roast – sweet and caramelly, with just a hint of smokiness which comes from the way the bean is roasted, dark and darker still. I take my coffee with a bit of cream. Yet, on a warm day there is nothing more enjoyable than to indulge in an iced-latte made with espresso, 1% milk and some, but not too much, ice. My favorite coffee house does not carry one percent milk, however, the mission of that company is to prepare my drink, “However – I – want – it,” so the barista is happy to mix two percent milk with skim milk to personalize my drink for me.
Likewise, this have it your way mentality has slowly infiltrated our churches. To accommodate the variety of work and lifestyles schedules, many churches now offer several worship times for corporate assembly, including Saturdays and Sundays and even a mid-week time.
The Saturday night worship-time is often a popular choice for families with young children, while the “aging” church-going population tends to prefer an earlier Sunday morning gathering. The youth and young-adult generations typically opt for the later Sunday morning or Sunday evening service times. Mid-week often offers a variety of deeper study options.
It is comforting to know that we have alternatives, don’t you think? If we stay out late Saturday night, we can sleep in on Sunday morning and still take in a church service. If we work Sunday, we can go Saturday night and not feel like we have missed our weekly time with God. Of course going to church does not make you a Christian, so missing church completely is fine too.
With declining membership issues churches have gone to the extreme to be culturally relevant, hoping to attract new members. Churches that lean toward the contemporary formats, with seeker-targeted messages and music might make you feel as if you were at a rock concert. Or, if you like it “old-school” – simply attend a service that sticks to older hymns and ‘suit and tied’ preachers with a more solemn message. If neither of those works for ya, there are a growing number of churches calling themselves “Emergent” or “Social” – with comfy couches placed appropriately to promote conversation. The couches help those who are not ready to commit to Jesus to feel welcomed and unjudged and the format is more Q&A, rather than straight from the bible. It is not uncommon to find one church that offers a variety of worship styles.
Our choices are not limited to service times and worship styles; somehow we have even managed to customize Jesus. If we like the Jesus who healed the sick, that’s “our” Jesus. There’s the Jesus who turned water into wine – if you like wine – that’s a good Jesus to have. Of course we all want the Jesus who loves us and forgives unconditionally, and does not require us to change. Some even claim that Jesus is a good role model, but He’s “not” the only way to heaven – there is more than one path.
Can you have your church, your worship experience and your Jesus – “However-you-want it”? My specialty drink usually retails at about $3.50. It’s a lot to pay for coffee, wouldn’t you agree? But, have you ever wondered how much the new, “However-you-want-it,” Christianity is costing us?
Paul answered this question in his letter to Timothy, explaining, “Envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions and constant friction arise between men [women] who are deprived of the truth. 1 Timothy 6:4-5. For further clarification, those whom Paul considered to be missing the truth were:
- Advocates of a different doctrine (than the doctrine of the entire Bible – cover to cover).
Paul explained, these people were only interested in a form of godliness for personal gain. He further described them as people of depraved minds. Ouch! There is a difference between following the entire doctrine of the Bible and following only the actions of Jesus.
The cost of a customized Christianity, you ask? The thought of that number frightens me. Many gone astray from the faith. Paul exhorted, “Hold fast to what has been entrusted to you – avoid worldly and empty chatter and the opposing arguments of what is falsely called ‘knowledge.’” 1 Timothy 6:20-21. Grace be with you!
Aleichem Shalom!
~dl.
Keep Pushing!
Those who claim salvation through Jesus Christ are called to a life of purity. Christians (literally, “little Christs”) are meant to live a life that is noticeably different from the way the rest of the world lives. Our goals, our dreams, our relationships, our spending habits – everything – must be set apart for the purpose of bringing glory to God.
The Bible calls God’s children to be sanctified, or consecrated, to the LORD. Even though there is no sanctification without the power of the Holy Spirit, we do have an integral part to play in becoming consecrated. Paul reminded the Church of Corinth, “Therefore having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”
Living a life of holiness is hard work – it requires constant focus to resist against worldly pleasures! Paul described it in Philippians 3:12-14 as a leaving behind his old ways and pressing on or reaching forward to what lies ahead.
Recently I read a story that I think best describes what Paul was trying to teach us and will help us to understand our part. There are many renderings of the story, so here is my paraphrase:
God appeared to a man one night while he lay sleepless in his cabin. God gave him these instructions, “There is a large boulder outside, in front of your cabin. I want you to push, repeatedly, against the boulder with all of your might.”
The man went to work right away. Each morning he arose early and pushed as hard as he could against the rock. Day after day he repeated his efforts. No matter how hard the man pushed, the rock would not budge. Disheartened, he began to relax his efforts. He stopped getting up quite as early. Most days, he did not work hard at all.
One day Satan happened along. Noticing the man’s discouragement, Satan mocked the man and said, “Why kill yourself? You are never going to move that thing.” Satan continued to taunt until finally the man gave up on all of his efforts.
Sometime later God returned and found the man slumped over in a pit of self-defeat. “What went wrong?” God asked. The frustrated man complained, “Lord, I’ve been pushing and pushing against that boulder, just like you told me to do, but that rock will not budge.”
The Lord responded compassionately, “Son, who told you to move the rock? I just asked you to push against it. Look at the muscles on your arms, your shoulders, and your legs, how they have grown. Do you see how much stronger you are now? Son, your only job was to push against that boulder, now I will remove that big rock Myself.”
~ Author Unknown.
There is a huge boulder outside your cabin and mine. It’s called sin. No one is immune from it. No one escapes life without a desire to indulge themselves in something that is wrong. 1 Corinthians 10: 13 reminds us, “no temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man.”
Friend this may be difficult for you to swallow, but the boulder outside your door has been placed there intentionally. God has given Satan permission to tempt you so that He might test you.
In our culture, when it comes to temptation, we’ve simply raised our white flag and surrendered ourselves. Satan barely opens his mouth to mock us and we’ve given ourselves over to him and we’ve given in to sin. We do not need to let the enemy push us around! God is faithful. He said he would not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. Do you know that?
It’s time to get yourself up off the ground and push against that boulder. You have everything you need to be able to stand against sin because God is on your side. The more you push, the stronger you will get. James said, “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Ok, imagine that with me – the enemy fleeing from you! It makes me smile every time. I picture Satan, head down, slumped shoulders, scurrying away with his tail between his legs and he knows he’s got nothing left!
No one can remove the huge boulder of sin except for God! The only one you need to humble yourself before is God – and He will exalt you!
Have a sin-free day!
Shalom Aleichem
~dl.
Looking for Mr. Loophole
I was indignant as I read through an article about a lawyer dubbed “Mr. Loophole.” The British attorney lends fond endorsement to his alias, citing his extraordinary talent for finding the legal technicality to help his clients avoid the consequences of their bad choices as the reason for his own fame.
Some notable moments for Nick Freeman include:
Defending Sir Alex Ferguson who was caught driving on the hard shoulder. Ferguson’s ‘out’ was that he felt nauseous and was merely looking for a restroom.
One business man was acquitted after crashing his car. The man sustained injuries from his accident and was rushed to the hospital. Alcohol was believed to be the cause of the man’s crash, so a blood sample was drawn. Later, the case was dismissed because the medical professional that withdrew the blood was also assisting to the man’s health concerns. The law required that blood testing for a drunk driving suspect be done by a medical practitioner not associated with the drivers care.
In another case a police officer was accused of drunk driving and the lawyer used the improper arresting procedures by the officer’s colleagues, as the means of avoidance.
As to the ethics of what he does, Freeman said, “Morally I can’t justify it, but ethically I can.” Since ethics are based on moral principles, I find this lawyer’s statement a complete contradiction.
Ah – ha! There’s my issue, it’s the contradiction. My annoyance with Mr. Loophole had more to do with the parallel of his story and the dichotomy that has taken place in the past in my own faith journey.
Mr Loophole specializes in motor vehicle infractions. For way too many years my own specialty was finding the loopholes in the Bible. How ‘bout you? Caught up in a world view, I think many of us have devalued at best, and at worst negated, Jesus’ teachings altogether.
Here are some of the trendy inconsistencies between what we think and what the Bible really says.
1) We think, “I want a home that will be a blessing to others. My home, including the granite countertops, the cork floors, the finest appliances, and the beautiful new furniture is a sign of God’s favor over me. Besides, it isn’t a sin to have nice things.”
The truth is, “if you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come follow me.”
2) We think, “It is okay for me to tell this story so that others know how to pray for her. Besides, I need to warn others about what she is doing, so they don’t get involved.”
The Truth is, “Gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” Proverbs 20:19.
3) We think, “I am entitled to my feelings and I’ll forgive when she (or he) proves she is truly sorry for what she did to me. Besides, she needs to know what she did was wrong.”
The Truth is, “Bear with one another, and forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must do.” Colossians 3:13.
4) We think, “It’s okay for me to continue to drink and party. I’m only doing it so that others will see that it’s cool to be a Christian. Jesus doesn’t care as much about what I do, as long as I have a relationship with Him. Besides, Jesus drank wine didn’t he”?
The Truth is, “do not get drunk with wine, for that is the dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.”
5) We think, “I deserve to be happy. I don’t think Jesus would want me to stay in an unfulfilled marriage. Besides, it isn’t good for our children to be constantly exposed to our fighting.”
The truth is….Jesus was confronted by some of the Pharisees on the legality of divorce. The Pharisees were always trying to trap Jesus by bringing up Old Testament law. They thought they had him once on the issue of divorce, but here is what Jesus said: “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7&8.
There are other areas where we try to find loopholes. What about “little” white lies, open or same sex marriages, not paying back what you have borrowed from others, or working for cash to avoid the tax man? These are all behavior based. Jesus never missed an opportunity to look beyond a persons’ behavior. He always went straight for the “heart” of the matter.
God wrote one book explaining how our lives would work out best if we chose to follow his loving instructions. There were no built-in loopholes for his plan. Paul said, “If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.” Trust me friend, the prize that Paul spoke of wasn’t a gold medal or a trophy.
Are you looking for the “out?” Jesus, going straight for your heart, would ask, “What is the lie you believe about Me preventing you from trusting ME?
Do you believe Jesus can satisfy all of your needs – or – do you think you still need more of the world? Do you believe God knows what will work best for you – or – do you think He is only trying to coerce you into abiding by a bunch of rules? Chances are, if you are looking for a loophole, you are believing some lie about your sin and/or you have a distorted view of who Jesus is.
Instead of looking for the technicality, try looking for an area of your life that you are not yet willing to trust God with. Then ask God to show you how you can begin trusting Him in that new way.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl
It’s never gonna be the same without her.
Last week we said ‘good-bye’ to our friends. Well actually, we didn’t get to say ‘good-bye.’
We met our neighbors seven years ago this May, when we moved into the home we are living in now. Taelyn was just six months old at the time, and our neighbors were expecting their first child. Taelor, our neighbor’s new baby girl, was born that July.
Taelor and Taelyn have been like brother and sister ever since. Living on a quiet street, our homes were close enough that the two little ones could begin their mornings together. It was not uncommon for the duo to play side-by-side the entire day through. Frequently they would get angry with one another and stomp off declaring, “I never gonna be your friend again.” Just as often they could be seen hugging each other, or rolling on the ground while sharing a belly laugh over something silly.
Over the last several months, since Christmas, we knew our neighbors had plans to sell their home and relocate to a different part of the city. A few weeks ago their goal solidified and a sold sign went up.
Even though Taelor’s family plans to stay in Kelowna, we realize that our busy family schedules may prevent us from staying connected. We have been preparing Taelyn, as best we could, for Taelor’s departure. Kids, of course, have no concept of time, so life went on pretty much “as normal” for the two small friends.
Our last day as neighbors was last Sunday. It was a day filled with drama and a lot of emotion. It seemed every couple of minutes, the two children were at odds with each other. As much as, we, the parents, tried to encourage them to enjoy their last hours together, the kids seemed bent on being angry with one another. The day ended with Taelor in tears at her house, and Taelyn sobbing in his room. While we were away from home the next day, Taelor moved out and we didn’t get to say good-bye.
When we came back home that day, Taelyn burst into tears (again) as his new reality set in. Filled with emotion, Taelyn shared his grief over the situation, “I shouldn’ta been so mean yesterday,” he said, rubbing his red little eyes, “and I wished I woulda never said she was mean.” Tae’s bigger concern, however, was, “It’s never gonna be the same without her.” Of course there was extra drama involved because Taelyn is only seven, but he thought life here in the neighborhood would be miserable from now on.
I wanted to help Taelyn to understand that the people in our lives will often come and go. Circumstances change. There is a transition time as we move from one normal into a new normal. During that transition time it is natural to be sad, but we can’t ever place our hope in people or our circumstances for our sustained happiness, because “things” change.
As difficult as change might be, during the transition times we are more likely to give God our full attention. It isn’t that He only shows up just when there is stuff going on in our lives. He is always there. But God longs to be the center of our attention, not an afterthought. When our eyes are turned away from competing distractions, God uses those moments to our full advantage. He wants us to know that every single situation that comes our way, is God ordained to work out for our good, because God has a plan for the way He wants us to live.
What we need the most is to know that when everything around us is changing, God is as constant as the air we breathe. His character never changes. God never moves away. Nothing can remove His steadfast love from us.
Getting to know God’s character is the only way you can begin to place your trust Him and be ready for those transition times. Has life changed for you? Do you wonder if “it’s ever gonna be the same?” Open your Bible – Get to know the only ONE whom you can trust to satisfy all of your needs. He loves you unconditionally.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
I’m a MESS – With a purpose!
Do you really want your heart to be healed? Healing begins with repentance! Repentance means to turn and head in the opposite direction. It involves a change of thought and action to correct a wrong.
Not forgiving others, is wrong. Repentance is your choice. Healing your heart is the miracle work of God. Let’s look at 2 Chronicles 7:14, for proof, “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray….and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (Emphasis mine.)
In my last blog, we read Matthew 24:10-13, where Jesus warned those who were most at risk, His followers! When offended by others, many [Christians] would fall away from their faith. Jesus said, “only those who endure to the end [in love] will be saved.” (Emphasis mine.)
I have been studying God’s Word on the topic of forgiveness for sometime now. Even so, I have messed up many times in the last while! I’ve allowed myself to become offended, reacted from a sense of entitlement, and let my pride and my feelings guide my actions. I’ve been clinging to bitterness and resentment like it’s my last dollar. A week or two ago, I declared myself “a hopeless mess.”
As strange as this might sound, reassurance for my own moral state came on one of my recent trips to Superstore.
For any of you who live in Kelowna and shop at Superstore, I’m sure you’ll get this…Over the last eight weeks or more, the supermarket has been undergoing major renovations. Despite the plethora of signage thanking people for their patience and, in exchange, promising a better future shopping experience, people could be seen wandering from aisle to aisle with a perplexed look on their face while muttering “something” beneath their breaths. I felt the same way because of the mayhem.
A few weeks back, I walked into Superstore and though they were not finished their rennis, I could see that their “mess had a purpose.” Peace, though only a glimpse of it, poked its little head out from the beneath the chaos. I was flooded with relief. Because I have several young men (translated that means big eaters) in my family, it only makes economical sense for me to continue shopping there.
Press the pause button here for a moment.
I feel a bit silly. I was completely unaware of the timing that this series would take us through, when I humbly agreed to partner with Lesley-Anne on the topic of forgiveness. We are just over our Easter celebrations. For Christians, Easter is the most sacred time in all the year. It marks the anniversary of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, so that we could be forgiven and reconciled with God.
During Jesus’ day, the Jewish people had been longing and looking for a new king. Israel was under constant threat from all sides, and in a state of pandemonium, most of the time. Jesus promised to be the king that would restore peace and bring order to a country in chaos.
Can you imagine the thoughts running through the minds of those who had followed Jesus closely for three years, when they saw Him hanging on that cross, dead? To those who had put their hope in Jesus, the situation must have appeared to them as “a hopeless mess.” What good could come from Jesus death? Of course, we know now that “that mess had a purpose!” Jesus promised that when He left this earth He would send a helper.
In Luke 13:3, Jesus told His followers, “unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” Our initial salvation process begins when we choose to repent. In Revelation 3:19 & 20, Jesus tells us that, “if we repent, He will come in and live with us.” Repentance is “how” we open the door through which Jesus, by His Holy Spirit, promises He will enter. What a beautiful thought, “when we decide we want to leave our former ways behind, we make ourselves ready for God to come near.”
Does our repentance mean we will never sin again? The verse from 2 Chronicles would indicate otherwise. Only those who are saved are, “a people called by His name.” After all I have learned I wish I could tell you that I am “fixed” but, as I confessed earlier, I am still making mistakes.
Our subsequent “saving” from sin (unforgiveness, etc.) also happens when repent.
I used to think that when I made my initial decision (when I repented) to forgive others, my unforgiveness would be gone. Poof! No more ill-feelings towards others. I have since learned that while repentance is necessary and no healing can come without it, forgiveness is not a one time event – it is a process.
My process began when God revealed to me that there were people in my own life that I thought I had forgiven, when I had not. I knew I was supposed to forgive, so I had simply tucked things away, hiding hurts deep in my heart. Every time I would hear a name, or see a face of one I hadn’t forgiven, the Holy Spirit would remind me that we weren’t done yet. Sound familiar?
The Holy Spirit is the architect and site supervisor of the renovations of the heart. Did you know that it is the Holy Spirit’s job to bring order out of chaos? To learn more about the ministry of the Holy Spirit see, Radical Love …Forever Changed.
God sees all “unforgiveness” as a wicked way. Matthew 18:23-35. It take humility, especially if you are one of His people, called by His name, to admit you have not been able to forgive. When we seek the compassionate, loving, merciful face of God and repent, God promises healing to our land – one heart at a time.
I admit I am still a mess – but I’m not hopeless! God faithfully reconstructs those He loves. The good news is that I am learning to repent a lot sooner now and trusting that God is working in me, to conform me to the image of His Son. Romans 8:28 & 29.
When it comes to forgiveness, are you still feeling like a mess? Every change toward Godliness begins with repentance. Do you want to be healed? Repentance is your first step.
If you have truly repented, The Holy Spirit lives in you and you can be confident when you glance at hope – You may be a mess, but you are a “mess with a purpose.”
For those who love Him and seek to follow His ways, Jesus promises that patience will produce a better future. Trusting that it begins with repentance, and only you can make that initial decision, why not talk to God, turn, and let the healing begin?
Aleichem Shalom
~dl
The Avalanche of Unforgivness!
DANGER! WARNING – KEEP BACK – EXTREME AVALANCHE CONDITIONS!
I can’t help but wonder why people take risks when the warnings are urgent and the consequences are so severe. Perhaps they are uneducated and therefore oblivious to the impending disaster. Maybe they just believe it will never happen to them. Whatever their rationale, the choice to ignore the warning signs can inflict devastating and wide spread consequences.
I live in an area that is a winter playground for many, and it’s now avalanche season. For the third time in two weeks, we have heard news reports of several people dying, and many more injured, when they were struck by an avalanche.
Police, and search and rescue teams, had hoped that with the back-to-back incidents and easy accessibility to weather reports, people would weigh the risk factors, educate themselves, and avoid the consequences.
Avalanches can be surprising, awe-inspiring, beautiful and deadly. They can sweep trains off their tracks, crush buildings, uproot trees and bury people. Some avalanches have even covered entire houses with people still inside. Most avalanches though reported to strike without warning, are human-caused.
Regardless of the repeated warnings, people are still not getting the message.
I feel for the families who have had to suffer, because of the poor choices made by some thrill-seeking sledders and snowboarders. So many innocent people could have been spared heartache and pain, if these snow-sports enthusiasts had heeded the initial warnings. My friend, it is that way with unforgiveness. The only way we will ever be able to prevent ourselves from being buried alive by unforgivness, is to heed Jesus’ warnings in the first place.
In my last blog, I promised we would begin mapping out the steps to forgiving others. It has been critical for me to educate myself, so I can avoid the consequences. Let me ask you, if you knew for certain that you were about to be buried alive by an avalanche, would you even take the first step onto that dangerous slope?
It starts with trust! If we don’t believe God is for us, we won’t trust that His ways are what is best for us. This morning, I had a ten minute conversation with my seven year old on “why” we have certain rules in our home. In the end, it all boils down to this one thing; we have rules so “we” stay safe. God has given us moral guidelines for the very same reason. He never issued a single command that didn’t have our best interests in mind. When we sin, we are choosing to ignore His warnings. God will never force us to listen to Him, nor will He prevent us from experiencing the consequences of our choices.
I have wasted far too much time and energy inflicting pain on others, because I was imprisoned by my own unforgiveness. For this reason, I humbly share with you what Kim and I learned as we wrote Radical Love ~ Forever changed. The first step toward unforgiveness, is becoming offended!
From the book, Radical Love ~ Forever Changed.
Offended = Sin
“When you blame anyone for what they did to you, you are the one who sins!” Your response may be, “What? When someone hurts me, especially if it is intentional, they aren’t to be blamed?” This may be the toughest truth to swallow. Friend, we so desire you to know – you need to know – there are few things more damaging than for you to be set up to feel the sting of an offense, and then remain there.
We will look at Matthew 24:10 – 13 (NKJV) for proof.
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound , the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end he will be saved.”
What Jesus is saying here is so important. Keep in mind that the people whom Jesus was talking about were the people in His church, the people who call themselves His followers. He was talking about Christians, and was speaking of the signs of the end times.
The word offended translates from the Greek word “skandalizo” and means;
1. to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall,
2. to entice to sin,
3. to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and
obey,
4. since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed; to cause
displeasure or make indignant.
The bottom line is that many will be hurt. What do those hurt people do? They hurt more people. They betray one another, they hate one another. And, they are inside homes and inside our churches. The word many in this passage refers to a very large amount; a vast amount; the majority! Who are they that mislead others? Who are the ones doing the deceiving? Who are the ones leading many astray? The offended. Jesus even called them ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing.’ Do you see the danger?”
Radical Love – Copyright 2009 – Property of For the Sake of ONE Ministries.
As long as we are alive people will be difficult to deal with. Some people will be bent on intentionally hurting us, some people will hurt us and not even know they have done so. The “absolute” is that the potential to be hurt is unavoidable. We are often blindsided and hardest hit by those we love and respect the most. As natural as it seems, becoming offended is the beginning of a spiritual and emotional, but no less tragic, avalanche. So can we choose not to be offended? Stick with me for a couple more minutes, ok?
All avalanches have three ingredients: snow, a sloped surface, and a trigger. Ideal conditions for an avalanche include unstable or uneven ground, where the snow is under tension or stress. As little as a 10% slope is all that is required for a severe slide to occur. When someone steps on an area of weak snow, it triggers an avalanche, in an instant, un-suspecting victims are buried alive.
Becoming offended has three ingredients: pride, a weak self-image, and a trigger. It takes so little, but when we are under tension or stress, we are vulnerable and at great risk. We will react out of pride or a sense of entitlement, when we lose sight of who we really are. Our pride can trigger a spiritual avalanche, and before we know it, we are buried alive beneath the weight of bitterness, anger, hurt, hate, fear, resentment. We may even start seeking revenge. As U2 sings in their song, Peace on Earth, “And you become a monster so the monster will not break you.” Because of unforgivenss we are cloning more monsters. There are times when I have been a monster. How ‘bout you?
My friend the stakes are so high. There are the physical manifestations that present in anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease and even cancer. These killer diseases are at an all time high. It’s human-caused – the slide of which has been strong enough to sweep Christ followers off their tracks, crush marriages and uproot families. Some unforgiveness avalanches have covered entire churches, with people still inside.
How can you tell when you are at risk?
Pride entices us. The enemy taunts us. Becoming offended seems like the most natural thing.
When it’s pride, there is a sense of entitlement, and/or self righteousness. Thoughts come to mind like, “I do not have to put up with…..,” or, “I’m sick of hearing about…..,” or, “I will not let them get away with……..” I am learning that it’s my pride talking when my thoughts start with “I.” These thoughts will be self-centered.
When it’s the enemy trying to derail, he most likely will be spewing words of judgment and/or condemnation. Thoughts come to mind like, “You can not trust…….,” or “it’s your own fault for……..,” or, “If you don’t do something about…….” I am learning that when the enemy is talking, my thoughts usually start with “You.” These thoughts will also be self-centered.
These are triggers that lead us to believe that becoming hurt is natural, but it is a trap!
Condemnation tears people down. There is no condemnation in Christ. Two thousand years ago, Jesus warned us of the consequences of unforgiveness. He urged us to forgive, not out of His anger or judgment against us, but out of love and a desire that none would perish. When God speaks to us about our issues, He does so in a loving manner, to convict us. Conviction builds us up. It inspires us to want to take action, to trust that we can be made better at loving God, others and ourselves. I am learning that when God speaks to me, my thoughts are focused on what He can do, and are usually others-centered.
Can we choose not to be hurt? Have you noticed times when you are less affected by the things that others say and do? I sure have. Usually when we are at our optimum, we are more willing to let things go. We will be at our best when we are grounded in the truth of our identity.
Of all things said here it is this I hope you remember - you are accepted, forgiven, redeemed, holy, blessed, a beloved child of the Almighty God. If we had a heart knowledge of who we are in Christ, the effects of our identity would be unstoppable in this world.
Here is one action step you could take today: Turn to the book of Isaiah, chapter 43, and write down everything that God says about you. Then record the promises God made to you. Ask Him for faith to help you believe. If you don’t own a Bible, here is a link to Isaiah 43.
It is much easier to avoid the avalanche in the first place. However, we cannot go back and undo what has already been done. I can assure you, God has the greatest search and rescue team. I know because He rescued me. If you are still buried beneath an avalanche of unforgiveness Jesus, through His Holy Spirit, wants to rescue you too. I’m so blessed that we are on this journey together. Until next time……
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
