Don’t Tell Me That!
It’s cherry season in Kelowna and cherries are one of Kelly’s favorite fruit. Last week we were invited to a friend’s house to pick cherries from their tree. Kelly quickly jumped at the chance, packed a ladder, grabbed the biggest buckets he could find, and off we went. You might have thought Kelly won the lottery by the look on his face. He had a huge smile as he spotted the tree; huge and drooping with cherries.
Picking and eating, Kelly spent the next hour humoring himself by spitting the pits at the birds who were contending for ‘his’ fruit. I humbly suggested Kelly not eat the fruit until we had taken it home and washed it, because our friends had sprayed their tree. Of course Kelly found no wisdom in my words.
Arriving home, content with his harvest, Kelly washed some of his cherries, placed them in a bowl and settled down in front of the television for a feast. While he ate, I picked through the rest of the cherries to discard the rotting ones, and that is when horror struck me. The bowl of cherries was crawling with worms! Worms that reared their ugly little white heads, and appeared to stick their slimy tongues out at me in taunt. I screamed, and to Kelly’s dismay, I yanked the bowl out of his lap. After I explained my actions, Kelly groaned and said, “ AHHH – I wish you never told me that.”
The truth is, even when sprayed, cherries sometimes have worms. It’s one of those things that you don’t really want to know, but once you know, you feel obliged to tell others.
I don’t mean to compare God’s instructions to a bowl full of cherries with worms, but I couldn’t help but laugh the other day as I shared a truth from the Bible with a friend. As I told her about a passage that I had read that morning, my friend covered her ears, groaned, and exhorted – “Don’t tell me – I don’t want to know!” Oddly, I understood exactly what my friend was experiencing.
There are things in the Bible I wish God never said, or at least wish I didn’t know. Things like;
- I’m supposed to be a submissive wife.
- I’m supposed to love my enemies and pray for them.
- I am to honor those who have authority over me: prime ministers, corporate authorities, pastors and yes, parents, even if I don’t agree with them. (Note to wives: husbands are included in that list too.)
- I am to give away ten percent (at least) of my hard earned money to the church, ie: people that I don’t know all that well, so that they can use it in whatever way they deem best, at the same time, I am to deny myself of the pleasures in this world.
Oh and by the way, I am to do all this with joy in my heart and not complaining!
I have a counter-will issue. Show me a rule and I’ll break it. Show me a line and I will cross it. Once, while wrestling with God about what He was telling me I needed to do, I stamped my feet and shouted at Him out loud, just like a little girl might do, “I WISH I NEVER KNEW THIS”!
Sometimes it seems the Bible is taunting – or is that daunting? Maybe both! Living in ignorance to God’s instructions can at times, seem easier. Just as I felt obliged to tell my husband about the worms in his cherries for obvious reasons – the writers of the Bible can be credited for their strong warning to us. Likewise, we have an obligation to tell others the truth, in an act of love!
A person can, unknowingly, pop a cherry full of worms and become ill from the maggot infested fruit. Once you know at least you can make an informed decision.
Just as easily, not knowing the truth can lead us into some dangerous situations. God’s hedge of protection over us can only be found within the walls of His divine will. When we step outside those walls we are on the enemy’s turf. Obedience = Protection.
If you are in Christ, no doubt you have had an experience like I have; where the Word from God’s own lips, as tough as it was to hear, transformed my thinking and saved me from certain destruction.
Will you share God’s word today – even if it isn’t the most welcomed message!
Aleichem Shalom.
~dl.
Looking for Mr. Loophole
I was indignant as I read through an article about a lawyer dubbed “Mr. Loophole.” The British attorney lends fond endorsement to his alias, citing his extraordinary talent for finding the legal technicality to help his clients avoid the consequences of their bad choices as the reason for his own fame.
Some notable moments for Nick Freeman include:
Defending Sir Alex Ferguson who was caught driving on the hard shoulder. Ferguson’s ‘out’ was that he felt nauseous and was merely looking for a restroom.
One business man was acquitted after crashing his car. The man sustained injuries from his accident and was rushed to the hospital. Alcohol was believed to be the cause of the man’s crash, so a blood sample was drawn. Later, the case was dismissed because the medical professional that withdrew the blood was also assisting to the man’s health concerns. The law required that blood testing for a drunk driving suspect be done by a medical practitioner not associated with the drivers care.
In another case a police officer was accused of drunk driving and the lawyer used the improper arresting procedures by the officer’s colleagues, as the means of avoidance.
As to the ethics of what he does, Freeman said, “Morally I can’t justify it, but ethically I can.” Since ethics are based on moral principles, I find this lawyer’s statement a complete contradiction.
Ah – ha! There’s my issue, it’s the contradiction. My annoyance with Mr. Loophole had more to do with the parallel of his story and the dichotomy that has taken place in the past in my own faith journey.
Mr Loophole specializes in motor vehicle infractions. For way too many years my own specialty was finding the loopholes in the Bible. How ‘bout you? Caught up in a world view, I think many of us have devalued at best, and at worst negated, Jesus’ teachings altogether.
Here are some of the trendy inconsistencies between what we think and what the Bible really says.
1) We think, “I want a home that will be a blessing to others. My home, including the granite countertops, the cork floors, the finest appliances, and the beautiful new furniture is a sign of God’s favor over me. Besides, it isn’t a sin to have nice things.”
The truth is, “if you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come follow me.”
2) We think, “It is okay for me to tell this story so that others know how to pray for her. Besides, I need to warn others about what she is doing, so they don’t get involved.”
The Truth is, “Gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” Proverbs 20:19.
3) We think, “I am entitled to my feelings and I’ll forgive when she (or he) proves she is truly sorry for what she did to me. Besides, she needs to know what she did was wrong.”
The Truth is, “Bear with one another, and forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must do.” Colossians 3:13.
4) We think, “It’s okay for me to continue to drink and party. I’m only doing it so that others will see that it’s cool to be a Christian. Jesus doesn’t care as much about what I do, as long as I have a relationship with Him. Besides, Jesus drank wine didn’t he”?
The Truth is, “do not get drunk with wine, for that is the dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.”
5) We think, “I deserve to be happy. I don’t think Jesus would want me to stay in an unfulfilled marriage. Besides, it isn’t good for our children to be constantly exposed to our fighting.”
The truth is….Jesus was confronted by some of the Pharisees on the legality of divorce. The Pharisees were always trying to trap Jesus by bringing up Old Testament law. They thought they had him once on the issue of divorce, but here is what Jesus said: “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7&8.
There are other areas where we try to find loopholes. What about “little” white lies, open or same sex marriages, not paying back what you have borrowed from others, or working for cash to avoid the tax man? These are all behavior based. Jesus never missed an opportunity to look beyond a persons’ behavior. He always went straight for the “heart” of the matter.
God wrote one book explaining how our lives would work out best if we chose to follow his loving instructions. There were no built-in loopholes for his plan. Paul said, “If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.” Trust me friend, the prize that Paul spoke of wasn’t a gold medal or a trophy.
Are you looking for the “out?” Jesus, going straight for your heart, would ask, “What is the lie you believe about Me preventing you from trusting ME?
Do you believe Jesus can satisfy all of your needs – or – do you think you still need more of the world? Do you believe God knows what will work best for you – or – do you think He is only trying to coerce you into abiding by a bunch of rules? Chances are, if you are looking for a loophole, you are believing some lie about your sin and/or you have a distorted view of who Jesus is.
Instead of looking for the technicality, try looking for an area of your life that you are not yet willing to trust God with. Then ask God to show you how you can begin trusting Him in that new way.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl
It’s never gonna be the same without her.
Last week we said ‘good-bye’ to our friends. Well actually, we didn’t get to say ‘good-bye.’
We met our neighbors seven years ago this May, when we moved into the home we are living in now. Taelyn was just six months old at the time, and our neighbors were expecting their first child. Taelor, our neighbor’s new baby girl, was born that July.
Taelor and Taelyn have been like brother and sister ever since. Living on a quiet street, our homes were close enough that the two little ones could begin their mornings together. It was not uncommon for the duo to play side-by-side the entire day through. Frequently they would get angry with one another and stomp off declaring, “I never gonna be your friend again.” Just as often they could be seen hugging each other, or rolling on the ground while sharing a belly laugh over something silly.
Over the last several months, since Christmas, we knew our neighbors had plans to sell their home and relocate to a different part of the city. A few weeks ago their goal solidified and a sold sign went up.
Even though Taelor’s family plans to stay in Kelowna, we realize that our busy family schedules may prevent us from staying connected. We have been preparing Taelyn, as best we could, for Taelor’s departure. Kids, of course, have no concept of time, so life went on pretty much “as normal” for the two small friends.
Our last day as neighbors was last Sunday. It was a day filled with drama and a lot of emotion. It seemed every couple of minutes, the two children were at odds with each other. As much as, we, the parents, tried to encourage them to enjoy their last hours together, the kids seemed bent on being angry with one another. The day ended with Taelor in tears at her house, and Taelyn sobbing in his room. While we were away from home the next day, Taelor moved out and we didn’t get to say good-bye.
When we came back home that day, Taelyn burst into tears (again) as his new reality set in. Filled with emotion, Taelyn shared his grief over the situation, “I shouldn’ta been so mean yesterday,” he said, rubbing his red little eyes, “and I wished I woulda never said she was mean.” Tae’s bigger concern, however, was, “It’s never gonna be the same without her.” Of course there was extra drama involved because Taelyn is only seven, but he thought life here in the neighborhood would be miserable from now on.
I wanted to help Taelyn to understand that the people in our lives will often come and go. Circumstances change. There is a transition time as we move from one normal into a new normal. During that transition time it is natural to be sad, but we can’t ever place our hope in people or our circumstances for our sustained happiness, because “things” change.
As difficult as change might be, during the transition times we are more likely to give God our full attention. It isn’t that He only shows up just when there is stuff going on in our lives. He is always there. But God longs to be the center of our attention, not an afterthought. When our eyes are turned away from competing distractions, God uses those moments to our full advantage. He wants us to know that every single situation that comes our way, is God ordained to work out for our good, because God has a plan for the way He wants us to live.
What we need the most is to know that when everything around us is changing, God is as constant as the air we breathe. His character never changes. God never moves away. Nothing can remove His steadfast love from us.
Getting to know God’s character is the only way you can begin to place your trust Him and be ready for those transition times. Has life changed for you? Do you wonder if “it’s ever gonna be the same?” Open your Bible – Get to know the only ONE whom you can trust to satisfy all of your needs. He loves you unconditionally.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
The Avalanche of Unforgivness!
DANGER! WARNING – KEEP BACK – EXTREME AVALANCHE CONDITIONS!
I can’t help but wonder why people take risks when the warnings are urgent and the consequences are so severe. Perhaps they are uneducated and therefore oblivious to the impending disaster. Maybe they just believe it will never happen to them. Whatever their rationale, the choice to ignore the warning signs can inflict devastating and wide spread consequences.
I live in an area that is a winter playground for many, and it’s now avalanche season. For the third time in two weeks, we have heard news reports of several people dying, and many more injured, when they were struck by an avalanche.
Police, and search and rescue teams, had hoped that with the back-to-back incidents and easy accessibility to weather reports, people would weigh the risk factors, educate themselves, and avoid the consequences.
Avalanches can be surprising, awe-inspiring, beautiful and deadly. They can sweep trains off their tracks, crush buildings, uproot trees and bury people. Some avalanches have even covered entire houses with people still inside. Most avalanches though reported to strike without warning, are human-caused.
Regardless of the repeated warnings, people are still not getting the message.
I feel for the families who have had to suffer, because of the poor choices made by some thrill-seeking sledders and snowboarders. So many innocent people could have been spared heartache and pain, if these snow-sports enthusiasts had heeded the initial warnings. My friend, it is that way with unforgiveness. The only way we will ever be able to prevent ourselves from being buried alive by unforgivness, is to heed Jesus’ warnings in the first place.
In my last blog, I promised we would begin mapping out the steps to forgiving others. It has been critical for me to educate myself, so I can avoid the consequences. Let me ask you, if you knew for certain that you were about to be buried alive by an avalanche, would you even take the first step onto that dangerous slope?
It starts with trust! If we don’t believe God is for us, we won’t trust that His ways are what is best for us. This morning, I had a ten minute conversation with my seven year old on “why” we have certain rules in our home. In the end, it all boils down to this one thing; we have rules so “we” stay safe. God has given us moral guidelines for the very same reason. He never issued a single command that didn’t have our best interests in mind. When we sin, we are choosing to ignore His warnings. God will never force us to listen to Him, nor will He prevent us from experiencing the consequences of our choices.
I have wasted far too much time and energy inflicting pain on others, because I was imprisoned by my own unforgiveness. For this reason, I humbly share with you what Kim and I learned as we wrote Radical Love ~ Forever changed. The first step toward unforgiveness, is becoming offended!
From the book, Radical Love ~ Forever Changed.
Offended = Sin
“When you blame anyone for what they did to you, you are the one who sins!” Your response may be, “What? When someone hurts me, especially if it is intentional, they aren’t to be blamed?” This may be the toughest truth to swallow. Friend, we so desire you to know – you need to know – there are few things more damaging than for you to be set up to feel the sting of an offense, and then remain there.
We will look at Matthew 24:10 – 13 (NKJV) for proof.
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound , the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end he will be saved.”
What Jesus is saying here is so important. Keep in mind that the people whom Jesus was talking about were the people in His church, the people who call themselves His followers. He was talking about Christians, and was speaking of the signs of the end times.
The word offended translates from the Greek word “skandalizo” and means;
1. to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall,
2. to entice to sin,
3. to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and
obey,
4. since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed; to cause
displeasure or make indignant.
The bottom line is that many will be hurt. What do those hurt people do? They hurt more people. They betray one another, they hate one another. And, they are inside homes and inside our churches. The word many in this passage refers to a very large amount; a vast amount; the majority! Who are they that mislead others? Who are the ones doing the deceiving? Who are the ones leading many astray? The offended. Jesus even called them ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing.’ Do you see the danger?”
Radical Love – Copyright 2009 – Property of For the Sake of ONE Ministries.
As long as we are alive people will be difficult to deal with. Some people will be bent on intentionally hurting us, some people will hurt us and not even know they have done so. The “absolute” is that the potential to be hurt is unavoidable. We are often blindsided and hardest hit by those we love and respect the most. As natural as it seems, becoming offended is the beginning of a spiritual and emotional, but no less tragic, avalanche. So can we choose not to be offended? Stick with me for a couple more minutes, ok?
All avalanches have three ingredients: snow, a sloped surface, and a trigger. Ideal conditions for an avalanche include unstable or uneven ground, where the snow is under tension or stress. As little as a 10% slope is all that is required for a severe slide to occur. When someone steps on an area of weak snow, it triggers an avalanche, in an instant, un-suspecting victims are buried alive.
Becoming offended has three ingredients: pride, a weak self-image, and a trigger. It takes so little, but when we are under tension or stress, we are vulnerable and at great risk. We will react out of pride or a sense of entitlement, when we lose sight of who we really are. Our pride can trigger a spiritual avalanche, and before we know it, we are buried alive beneath the weight of bitterness, anger, hurt, hate, fear, resentment. We may even start seeking revenge. As U2 sings in their song, Peace on Earth, “And you become a monster so the monster will not break you.” Because of unforgivenss we are cloning more monsters. There are times when I have been a monster. How ‘bout you?
My friend the stakes are so high. There are the physical manifestations that present in anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease and even cancer. These killer diseases are at an all time high. It’s human-caused – the slide of which has been strong enough to sweep Christ followers off their tracks, crush marriages and uproot families. Some unforgiveness avalanches have covered entire churches, with people still inside.
How can you tell when you are at risk?
Pride entices us. The enemy taunts us. Becoming offended seems like the most natural thing.
When it’s pride, there is a sense of entitlement, and/or self righteousness. Thoughts come to mind like, “I do not have to put up with…..,” or, “I’m sick of hearing about…..,” or, “I will not let them get away with……..” I am learning that it’s my pride talking when my thoughts start with “I.” These thoughts will be self-centered.
When it’s the enemy trying to derail, he most likely will be spewing words of judgment and/or condemnation. Thoughts come to mind like, “You can not trust…….,” or “it’s your own fault for……..,” or, “If you don’t do something about…….” I am learning that when the enemy is talking, my thoughts usually start with “You.” These thoughts will also be self-centered.
These are triggers that lead us to believe that becoming hurt is natural, but it is a trap!
Condemnation tears people down. There is no condemnation in Christ. Two thousand years ago, Jesus warned us of the consequences of unforgiveness. He urged us to forgive, not out of His anger or judgment against us, but out of love and a desire that none would perish. When God speaks to us about our issues, He does so in a loving manner, to convict us. Conviction builds us up. It inspires us to want to take action, to trust that we can be made better at loving God, others and ourselves. I am learning that when God speaks to me, my thoughts are focused on what He can do, and are usually others-centered.
Can we choose not to be hurt? Have you noticed times when you are less affected by the things that others say and do? I sure have. Usually when we are at our optimum, we are more willing to let things go. We will be at our best when we are grounded in the truth of our identity.
Of all things said here it is this I hope you remember - you are accepted, forgiven, redeemed, holy, blessed, a beloved child of the Almighty God. If we had a heart knowledge of who we are in Christ, the effects of our identity would be unstoppable in this world.
Here is one action step you could take today: Turn to the book of Isaiah, chapter 43, and write down everything that God says about you. Then record the promises God made to you. Ask Him for faith to help you believe. If you don’t own a Bible, here is a link to Isaiah 43.
It is much easier to avoid the avalanche in the first place. However, we cannot go back and undo what has already been done. I can assure you, God has the greatest search and rescue team. I know because He rescued me. If you are still buried beneath an avalanche of unforgiveness Jesus, through His Holy Spirit, wants to rescue you too. I’m so blessed that we are on this journey together. Until next time……
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
