It’s never gonna be the same without her.
Last week we said ‘good-bye’ to our friends. Well actually, we didn’t get to say ‘good-bye.’
We met our neighbors seven years ago this May, when we moved into the home we are living in now. Taelyn was just six months old at the time, and our neighbors were expecting their first child. Taelor, our neighbor’s new baby girl, was born that July.
Taelor and Taelyn have been like brother and sister ever since. Living on a quiet street, our homes were close enough that the two little ones could begin their mornings together. It was not uncommon for the duo to play side-by-side the entire day through. Frequently they would get angry with one another and stomp off declaring, “I never gonna be your friend again.” Just as often they could be seen hugging each other, or rolling on the ground while sharing a belly laugh over something silly.
Over the last several months, since Christmas, we knew our neighbors had plans to sell their home and relocate to a different part of the city. A few weeks ago their goal solidified and a sold sign went up.
Even though Taelor’s family plans to stay in Kelowna, we realize that our busy family schedules may prevent us from staying connected. We have been preparing Taelyn, as best we could, for Taelor’s departure. Kids, of course, have no concept of time, so life went on pretty much “as normal” for the two small friends.
Our last day as neighbors was last Sunday. It was a day filled with drama and a lot of emotion. It seemed every couple of minutes, the two children were at odds with each other. As much as, we, the parents, tried to encourage them to enjoy their last hours together, the kids seemed bent on being angry with one another. The day ended with Taelor in tears at her house, and Taelyn sobbing in his room. While we were away from home the next day, Taelor moved out and we didn’t get to say good-bye.
When we came back home that day, Taelyn burst into tears (again) as his new reality set in. Filled with emotion, Taelyn shared his grief over the situation, “I shouldn’ta been so mean yesterday,” he said, rubbing his red little eyes, “and I wished I woulda never said she was mean.” Tae’s bigger concern, however, was, “It’s never gonna be the same without her.” Of course there was extra drama involved because Taelyn is only seven, but he thought life here in the neighborhood would be miserable from now on.
I wanted to help Taelyn to understand that the people in our lives will often come and go. Circumstances change. There is a transition time as we move from one normal into a new normal. During that transition time it is natural to be sad, but we can’t ever place our hope in people or our circumstances for our sustained happiness, because “things” change.
As difficult as change might be, during the transition times we are more likely to give God our full attention. It isn’t that He only shows up just when there is stuff going on in our lives. He is always there. But God longs to be the center of our attention, not an afterthought. When our eyes are turned away from competing distractions, God uses those moments to our full advantage. He wants us to know that every single situation that comes our way, is God ordained to work out for our good, because God has a plan for the way He wants us to live.
What we need the most is to know that when everything around us is changing, God is as constant as the air we breathe. His character never changes. God never moves away. Nothing can remove His steadfast love from us.
Getting to know God’s character is the only way you can begin to place your trust Him and be ready for those transition times. Has life changed for you? Do you wonder if “it’s ever gonna be the same?” Open your Bible – Get to know the only ONE whom you can trust to satisfy all of your needs. He loves you unconditionally.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
Understanding Forgiveness – Part One
David. A Symbol of God’s Abundant Pardon?
We all need forgiveness. We all have people we need to exonerate. Though we know we should, and maybe we even know why, most of us do not know “how” to forgive. Sadly, too many people are living as prisoners, bound by the chains of unforgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a human inclination. Whether giving or receiving forgiveness, we tend to reject the idea that it’s the best way. True forgiveness is contingent upon our faith in Jesus. Without Him, forgiveness is impossible!
As we begin to understand the amazing pardon God has made available for us, both to give and receive, it is my hope and prayer that you would experience the freedom in forgiveness and that those chains loosen
God knew it would be hard for us to understand, and because He knew we would always be looking for a “loophole,” God gave us many clear illustrations of what forgiveness really means, infact, it is the central theme of the entire Bible. David’s story was no exception.
David was just a boy when he was hand picked by God to be the future King of Israel. You might remember the story of David and his famous fight with the giant Goliath. David did many wonderful things for God. At one point God even called David, “a man after His own heart.” However, it is David’s fall into sin that is the focus of our attention today.
Why are we focusing on David’s sin, if there was so much that was good about him. The short answer is because God did. “And I will make an everlasting covenant with you, According to the faithful mercies shown to David. Behold I have made him a witness to the peoples.” Isaiah 55:3. God used David’s story as a symbol of His abundant pardon.
Here is a quick synopsis of David’s fall:
After David became King of Israel, the Israelites went to battle against the Syrians. While his army was at war, David remained in the comfort of his palace. At the end of a blistering hot day, David wandered out onto the roof top to enjoy the cool of the evening. From this vantage point, David was able to see into the home of Bathsheba. David’s gaze fell upon this beautiful woman as she was bathing.
Bathsheba was married to Uriah. He was the loyal commander of David’s army. Though David was also married, the temptation was more than he could resist. While Uriah was out fighting for the nation of Israel, David sent for Bathsheba, slept with her, and she became pregnant.
Rather than owning up to his mistake, David tried to cover it up. He sent for Uriah, and on several occasions, tried to manipulate Uriah into sleeping with Bathsheba, to alter the evidence. Uriah, loyal to the army, refused to indulge himself while the others were still at war. When that plan failed, David conspired and intentionally had Uriah sent to the front lines, so that he would be killed in combat.
Because God is Holy, he cannot condone sin. The penalty for sin is death! However, because of His amazing Grace, He had a plan for reconciliation. Even before we knew we needed it – God prepared a way for us. From David’s story, let’s try to grasp the principles God wants us to learn.
Does God have restrictions?
God’s forgiveness is abundant, while we have many conditions. We will forgive some people, but not others. We find some offenses easier to forgive, while others are just too big. We will forgive someone once, maybe twice, but we will not be a doormat for anyone.
In Isaiah 55:8&9 God reminds us, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9. We simply must understand forgiveness from a Godly perspective!
Who Qualifies?
Isaiah 55:1a reads, “HO! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters.” Not long ago I heard an amazing teaching on the single word “Ho.” The word is spoken is a loud shout, coming from the inner soul. It is like a deep groaning that surfaces and cannot be contained. “Ho” portrays God’s longing to get this word out to the people. “Ho! Every one who thirsts,” qualifies for God’s promise. We all have a thirst. It is the deep longing inside each of us that only God can satisfy. Forgiveness from God, it is like water to a parched soul.
How much does it cost?
God accepts us as we are. Because Jesus paid the price on the cross, forgiveness is free to anyone who seeks Him. Isaiah 55:1b. “And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk Without money and without cost.”
How much is too much?
All sin is equal to God. “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.” James 2:10. God does not compare your sin, to mine, or mine to another’s and decide on some scale of “better or worse,” who will receive a pardon and who will not, as we do. You and I, David the murderer, and even Billy Graham, we are all equal to one another in God’s eyes.
What is the limit?
We often limit the number of times we will forgive one another. Imagine if God had said to David, “David, I definitely could have forgiven you, if all you had done was sneak a peak at Bathsheba while she was bathing. Ok, maybe, just maybe, I might have been able to forgive the adultery. Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice shame on Me. But David – three strikes and you are out! You just had to go and murder Uriah. You can’t expect me to forgive you now!” God in His Grace forgave David for His sins.
Time sensitive offer.
“Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is Near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the LORD, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. “ Isaiah 55:6&7
We do not know when our lives will end, nor do we know the life span of another. This is a decision that demands immediate attention.
Have you accepted God’s abundant pardon? Do you have someone you need to forgive?
Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near.
Shalom Aleichem.
~dl.
Giving Up? The Game’s Not Over Yet!
It was just a silly game of cards, our fiftieth, I believe. Ok, perhaps that number is slightly exaggerated. Taelyn was sick so he had been home from school for many days. Together he and I had played many games of Go Fish. Today was no exception.
We were tied, as we began our third game of the morning. I was ahead with six pairs to Taelyn’s one. I noticed that my lead, at least in part, had contributed to a change in Tae’s attitude. His voice became quiet. He sounded discouraged and his actions became less than enthusiastic. One more pair for me, and Taelyn declared, “game over!” “I quit,” he said. “Quit?” I was surprised. “Why would you quit now, when the game is not over yet?” It didn’t make sense to me. “Because I can’t win.” Taelyn responded.
His assessment of the situation was based on tangible evidence – the mound of cards on my side, and the lack on his. In his mind, it would be impossible to catch up, never mind win. To my son the situation was, in a word, hopeless!
This game had me thinking about more than just a game of cards. We often look at the tangible evidence in our circumstances, and if the odds seem stacked against us, we declare the situation, in a word, “hopeless!” Like Taelyn, when the challenge seems insurmountable to us, we tend to give up before the game is officially over. Yay! Score “another one” for the enemy. Satan is a cheater. He wins because of the false evidence he provides us with. I tell you, nothing makes me angrier!
Ironically, just before my game with Taelyn, I had been praying about a circumstance in my own life. This is a situation I have been praying about for more then ten years, with little sign of hope. I have to admit, I have grown weary many times. I shared my frustration with God this morning. I told Him I was about ready to give up! I asked God to give me a clear sign, or at the very least, some encouragement to go on.
God used the game of Go Fish, and my conversation with Taelyn to answer my prayer. God reminded me of Biblical figures like Abraham and Sarah, Joseph, Moses, David and more. In each of their lives there were situations that appeared impossible. I couldn’t help but smile when I realized, if they had not trusted God, they would have missed the divine victory. I heard my words ringing loudly in my own ears. “Quit? Why would you quit now? The game is not over yet!”
Before you quit, consider these questions:
1) What are you about to give up? If it is nothing more than a silly card game, then go ahead – give up! BUT, and I ask this in total humility, are you quitting simply because you are worn out?
Do you feel like you will never get a handle on your debt? Do you doubt that your children will come to faith in Jesus? Are some of your relationships, maybe even your marriage, appearing hopeless? Are you battling an addiction? Perhaps worse than all of these, are you thinking of aborting your own faith walk with Jesus, because it is just too difficult. If you feel hopeless – DO NOT GIVE UP YET!
2) What were you expecting? A game without opposition? If you don’t have an opponent, there is likely nothing at stake. A.J. Coyner said, “Christianity does not provide a supernatural cure for suffering; it provides a supernatural use of it.” Your opponent wants you to believe your situation is hopeless. If it is not impossible, would you even have a need for God?
3) Will you miss a divine victory if you give up now? As hard as it may be to keep going at times, quitting, going back, often leads to bigger heartache and disaster.
Because Abraham and Sarah trusted God, they were blessed at a very old age, with the birth of Isaac. Abraham also became the Father of the whole Israelite Nation, through the birth of Isaac. In spite of all the hopeless situations Joseph found himself in, he continued to trust God. Because of Joseph’s faithfulness, God used him to prevent all of the Israelites and the Egyptians from starving to death. Moses never gave up in his battle against the Pharaoh, so the Israelites were set free from their captivity, and eventually made it into the promised land. Because of David’s courage, he fought Goliath and won. Jesus became part of the lineage of David. Every difficult situation has a God glorifying ending - if you finish the game.
Romans 5:3-5 [NASB] reminds us, “but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (emphasis mine.)
Today I faced my own situation, with new resolve. Today Taelyn won at the game of Go Fish. What are you hoping for? May the hope that does not disappoint, be poured out in your heart today.
The game’s not over yet!
Aleichem Shalom.
dl.
