I’m a MESS – With a purpose!
Do you really want your heart to be healed? Healing begins with repentance! Repentance means to turn and head in the opposite direction. It involves a change of thought and action to correct a wrong.
Not forgiving others, is wrong. Repentance is your choice. Healing your heart is the miracle work of God. Let’s look at 2 Chronicles 7:14, for proof, “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray….and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (Emphasis mine.)
In my last blog, we read Matthew 24:10-13, where Jesus warned those who were most at risk, His followers! When offended by others, many [Christians] would fall away from their faith. Jesus said, “only those who endure to the end [in love] will be saved.” (Emphasis mine.)
I have been studying God’s Word on the topic of forgiveness for sometime now. Even so, I have messed up many times in the last while! I’ve allowed myself to become offended, reacted from a sense of entitlement, and let my pride and my feelings guide my actions. I’ve been clinging to bitterness and resentment like it’s my last dollar. A week or two ago, I declared myself “a hopeless mess.”
As strange as this might sound, reassurance for my own moral state came on one of my recent trips to Superstore.
For any of you who live in Kelowna and shop at Superstore, I’m sure you’ll get this…Over the last eight weeks or more, the supermarket has been undergoing major renovations. Despite the plethora of signage thanking people for their patience and, in exchange, promising a better future shopping experience, people could be seen wandering from aisle to aisle with a perplexed look on their face while muttering “something” beneath their breaths. I felt the same way because of the mayhem.
A few weeks back, I walked into Superstore and though they were not finished their rennis, I could see that their “mess had a purpose.” Peace, though only a glimpse of it, poked its little head out from the beneath the chaos. I was flooded with relief. Because I have several young men (translated that means big eaters) in my family, it only makes economical sense for me to continue shopping there.
Press the pause button here for a moment.
I feel a bit silly. I was completely unaware of the timing that this series would take us through, when I humbly agreed to partner with Lesley-Anne on the topic of forgiveness. We are just over our Easter celebrations. For Christians, Easter is the most sacred time in all the year. It marks the anniversary of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, so that we could be forgiven and reconciled with God.
During Jesus’ day, the Jewish people had been longing and looking for a new king. Israel was under constant threat from all sides, and in a state of pandemonium, most of the time. Jesus promised to be the king that would restore peace and bring order to a country in chaos.
Can you imagine the thoughts running through the minds of those who had followed Jesus closely for three years, when they saw Him hanging on that cross, dead? To those who had put their hope in Jesus, the situation must have appeared to them as “a hopeless mess.” What good could come from Jesus death? Of course, we know now that “that mess had a purpose!” Jesus promised that when He left this earth He would send a helper.
In Luke 13:3, Jesus told His followers, “unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” Our initial salvation process begins when we choose to repent. In Revelation 3:19 & 20, Jesus tells us that, “if we repent, He will come in and live with us.” Repentance is “how” we open the door through which Jesus, by His Holy Spirit, promises He will enter. What a beautiful thought, “when we decide we want to leave our former ways behind, we make ourselves ready for God to come near.”
Does our repentance mean we will never sin again? The verse from 2 Chronicles would indicate otherwise. Only those who are saved are, “a people called by His name.” After all I have learned I wish I could tell you that I am “fixed” but, as I confessed earlier, I am still making mistakes.
Our subsequent “saving” from sin (unforgiveness, etc.) also happens when repent.
I used to think that when I made my initial decision (when I repented) to forgive others, my unforgiveness would be gone. Poof! No more ill-feelings towards others. I have since learned that while repentance is necessary and no healing can come without it, forgiveness is not a one time event – it is a process.
My process began when God revealed to me that there were people in my own life that I thought I had forgiven, when I had not. I knew I was supposed to forgive, so I had simply tucked things away, hiding hurts deep in my heart. Every time I would hear a name, or see a face of one I hadn’t forgiven, the Holy Spirit would remind me that we weren’t done yet. Sound familiar?
The Holy Spirit is the architect and site supervisor of the renovations of the heart. Did you know that it is the Holy Spirit’s job to bring order out of chaos? To learn more about the ministry of the Holy Spirit see, Radical Love …Forever Changed.
God sees all “unforgiveness” as a wicked way. Matthew 18:23-35. It take humility, especially if you are one of His people, called by His name, to admit you have not been able to forgive. When we seek the compassionate, loving, merciful face of God and repent, God promises healing to our land – one heart at a time.
I admit I am still a mess – but I’m not hopeless! God faithfully reconstructs those He loves. The good news is that I am learning to repent a lot sooner now and trusting that God is working in me, to conform me to the image of His Son. Romans 8:28 & 29.
When it comes to forgiveness, are you still feeling like a mess? Every change toward Godliness begins with repentance. Do you want to be healed? Repentance is your first step.
If you have truly repented, The Holy Spirit lives in you and you can be confident when you glance at hope – You may be a mess, but you are a “mess with a purpose.”
For those who love Him and seek to follow His ways, Jesus promises that patience will produce a better future. Trusting that it begins with repentance, and only you can make that initial decision, why not talk to God, turn, and let the healing begin?
Aleichem Shalom
~dl
The Avalanche of Unforgivness!
DANGER! WARNING – KEEP BACK – EXTREME AVALANCHE CONDITIONS!
I can’t help but wonder why people take risks when the warnings are urgent and the consequences are so severe. Perhaps they are uneducated and therefore oblivious to the impending disaster. Maybe they just believe it will never happen to them. Whatever their rationale, the choice to ignore the warning signs can inflict devastating and wide spread consequences.
I live in an area that is a winter playground for many, and it’s now avalanche season. For the third time in two weeks, we have heard news reports of several people dying, and many more injured, when they were struck by an avalanche.
Police, and search and rescue teams, had hoped that with the back-to-back incidents and easy accessibility to weather reports, people would weigh the risk factors, educate themselves, and avoid the consequences.
Avalanches can be surprising, awe-inspiring, beautiful and deadly. They can sweep trains off their tracks, crush buildings, uproot trees and bury people. Some avalanches have even covered entire houses with people still inside. Most avalanches though reported to strike without warning, are human-caused.
Regardless of the repeated warnings, people are still not getting the message.
I feel for the families who have had to suffer, because of the poor choices made by some thrill-seeking sledders and snowboarders. So many innocent people could have been spared heartache and pain, if these snow-sports enthusiasts had heeded the initial warnings. My friend, it is that way with unforgiveness. The only way we will ever be able to prevent ourselves from being buried alive by unforgivness, is to heed Jesus’ warnings in the first place.
In my last blog, I promised we would begin mapping out the steps to forgiving others. It has been critical for me to educate myself, so I can avoid the consequences. Let me ask you, if you knew for certain that you were about to be buried alive by an avalanche, would you even take the first step onto that dangerous slope?
It starts with trust! If we don’t believe God is for us, we won’t trust that His ways are what is best for us. This morning, I had a ten minute conversation with my seven year old on “why” we have certain rules in our home. In the end, it all boils down to this one thing; we have rules so “we” stay safe. God has given us moral guidelines for the very same reason. He never issued a single command that didn’t have our best interests in mind. When we sin, we are choosing to ignore His warnings. God will never force us to listen to Him, nor will He prevent us from experiencing the consequences of our choices.
I have wasted far too much time and energy inflicting pain on others, because I was imprisoned by my own unforgiveness. For this reason, I humbly share with you what Kim and I learned as we wrote Radical Love ~ Forever changed. The first step toward unforgiveness, is becoming offended!
From the book, Radical Love ~ Forever Changed.
Offended = Sin
“When you blame anyone for what they did to you, you are the one who sins!” Your response may be, “What? When someone hurts me, especially if it is intentional, they aren’t to be blamed?” This may be the toughest truth to swallow. Friend, we so desire you to know – you need to know – there are few things more damaging than for you to be set up to feel the sting of an offense, and then remain there.
We will look at Matthew 24:10 – 13 (NKJV) for proof.
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound , the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end he will be saved.”
What Jesus is saying here is so important. Keep in mind that the people whom Jesus was talking about were the people in His church, the people who call themselves His followers. He was talking about Christians, and was speaking of the signs of the end times.
The word offended translates from the Greek word “skandalizo” and means;
1. to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall,
2. to entice to sin,
3. to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and
obey,
4. since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed; to cause
displeasure or make indignant.
The bottom line is that many will be hurt. What do those hurt people do? They hurt more people. They betray one another, they hate one another. And, they are inside homes and inside our churches. The word many in this passage refers to a very large amount; a vast amount; the majority! Who are they that mislead others? Who are the ones doing the deceiving? Who are the ones leading many astray? The offended. Jesus even called them ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing.’ Do you see the danger?”
Radical Love – Copyright 2009 – Property of For the Sake of ONE Ministries.
As long as we are alive people will be difficult to deal with. Some people will be bent on intentionally hurting us, some people will hurt us and not even know they have done so. The “absolute” is that the potential to be hurt is unavoidable. We are often blindsided and hardest hit by those we love and respect the most. As natural as it seems, becoming offended is the beginning of a spiritual and emotional, but no less tragic, avalanche. So can we choose not to be offended? Stick with me for a couple more minutes, ok?
All avalanches have three ingredients: snow, a sloped surface, and a trigger. Ideal conditions for an avalanche include unstable or uneven ground, where the snow is under tension or stress. As little as a 10% slope is all that is required for a severe slide to occur. When someone steps on an area of weak snow, it triggers an avalanche, in an instant, un-suspecting victims are buried alive.
Becoming offended has three ingredients: pride, a weak self-image, and a trigger. It takes so little, but when we are under tension or stress, we are vulnerable and at great risk. We will react out of pride or a sense of entitlement, when we lose sight of who we really are. Our pride can trigger a spiritual avalanche, and before we know it, we are buried alive beneath the weight of bitterness, anger, hurt, hate, fear, resentment. We may even start seeking revenge. As U2 sings in their song, Peace on Earth, “And you become a monster so the monster will not break you.” Because of unforgivenss we are cloning more monsters. There are times when I have been a monster. How ‘bout you?
My friend the stakes are so high. There are the physical manifestations that present in anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease and even cancer. These killer diseases are at an all time high. It’s human-caused – the slide of which has been strong enough to sweep Christ followers off their tracks, crush marriages and uproot families. Some unforgiveness avalanches have covered entire churches, with people still inside.
How can you tell when you are at risk?
Pride entices us. The enemy taunts us. Becoming offended seems like the most natural thing.
When it’s pride, there is a sense of entitlement, and/or self righteousness. Thoughts come to mind like, “I do not have to put up with…..,” or, “I’m sick of hearing about…..,” or, “I will not let them get away with……..” I am learning that it’s my pride talking when my thoughts start with “I.” These thoughts will be self-centered.
When it’s the enemy trying to derail, he most likely will be spewing words of judgment and/or condemnation. Thoughts come to mind like, “You can not trust…….,” or “it’s your own fault for……..,” or, “If you don’t do something about…….” I am learning that when the enemy is talking, my thoughts usually start with “You.” These thoughts will also be self-centered.
These are triggers that lead us to believe that becoming hurt is natural, but it is a trap!
Condemnation tears people down. There is no condemnation in Christ. Two thousand years ago, Jesus warned us of the consequences of unforgiveness. He urged us to forgive, not out of His anger or judgment against us, but out of love and a desire that none would perish. When God speaks to us about our issues, He does so in a loving manner, to convict us. Conviction builds us up. It inspires us to want to take action, to trust that we can be made better at loving God, others and ourselves. I am learning that when God speaks to me, my thoughts are focused on what He can do, and are usually others-centered.
Can we choose not to be hurt? Have you noticed times when you are less affected by the things that others say and do? I sure have. Usually when we are at our optimum, we are more willing to let things go. We will be at our best when we are grounded in the truth of our identity.
Of all things said here it is this I hope you remember - you are accepted, forgiven, redeemed, holy, blessed, a beloved child of the Almighty God. If we had a heart knowledge of who we are in Christ, the effects of our identity would be unstoppable in this world.
Here is one action step you could take today: Turn to the book of Isaiah, chapter 43, and write down everything that God says about you. Then record the promises God made to you. Ask Him for faith to help you believe. If you don’t own a Bible, here is a link to Isaiah 43.
It is much easier to avoid the avalanche in the first place. However, we cannot go back and undo what has already been done. I can assure you, God has the greatest search and rescue team. I know because He rescued me. If you are still buried beneath an avalanche of unforgiveness Jesus, through His Holy Spirit, wants to rescue you too. I’m so blessed that we are on this journey together. Until next time……
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
Forgiveness. Have you opened your gift?
In my last blog, Understanding Forgiveness: Part One, we caught a glimpse of God’s “Abundant Pardon” toward us. To summarize, there is nothing you have ever done, nothing you are currently doing, nothing you ever will do, that God cannot forgive.
Though God’s mercy is abundant, forgiveness is a transaction. In an ordinary business deal, a transaction is complete when payment is made in exchange for the delivery of goods. It is the same with forgiveness. Jesus paid the price. He died on the cross so that you could be forgiven and reconciled with God. However, you must receive that forgiveness or the transaction is incomplete.
In my senior high school years, I had a special friend. I wanted to do something really significant for him. I decided to buy a gift for his birthday. I knew the gift had to be something useful, but I also wanted the gift to absolutely “wow” him. I wanted this gift to be something he would never have the means to acquire for himself.
I had no money, but I did have a part-time job. I asked my boss if I could work extra hours on evenings and weekends. My boss agreed, and for the next twelve months I worked as often as I could. In addition, I saved my birthday money, and any extra cash that came my way.
I spent all my free time window shopping and pouring over catalogues, trying to decide on a suitable gift. Near the end of the year I found what I considered to be the perfect gift. It was a power tool. I don’t think I have ever been so excited about buying a gift for anyone. I was ridiculously giddy as I made my purchase.
Long story short, I wrapped the gift in beautiful paper, planned a special dinner, invited guests and carefully thought out what I would say when I gave the gift to him. For months I had been imagining the look on his face, as he opened my special gift. Now the time was finally here. I was shocked, no, devastated by what happened next. When he opened the gift, he showed no signs of enthusiasm. He was completely apathetic. The gift remained at my house, in the half opened box, with the wrapping torn to shreds. Eventually I gave the gift to someone else. I guess he was not able to see the value of the gift.
His response however, did not negate the facts.
That gift cost me a lot more than cash. It was bought and paid for, even though he never took it out of the box. The gift was meant for a specific purpose. It was supposed to benefit him, and if used as it was intended, it could have brought him and many others, great joy.
Sadly, as the gift remained in the box it was rendered useless!
I cannot help but see the parallel between my story, and God’s. The gift God gave us, was far more valuable than the one I chose to give my friend. Forgiveness came at a great personal cost and extreme sacrifice. It came beautifully wrapped in precious human frailty, which was later torn to shreds. Regardless of our response to it, the gift of forgiveness for our sins has been bought and paid for. It’s up to us whether we take it out of the box or not.
For many of us who call ourselves “Christians,” we have often received the gift of God’s forgiveness with apathy or total rejection! It’s apathy when we lack joy in our lives and do not praise God continually, for what Jesus did for us, regardless of our circumstances.
It is rejection, when our lives remain unchanged by the power of His forgiveness. In speaking about the times to come, Paul describes such people to Timothy in this way, “men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, ungrateful, haters of good, …..reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure, rather than God. These people have a form of godliness, (think – church goers, professing to be followers of Jesus) although they have denied it’s power” (those church goers remain unforgiving, unloving, exactly as they were before they met Jesus.) 2 Timothy 3:2-5.
When we are apathetic, or reject God’s forgiveness, we are rendered ineffective, because Christianity hinges on the power of forgiveness.
The transaction of forgiveness is made complete with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, God’s ultimate power tool. When the Holy Spirit lives in us we have all the power we need to live completely different lives. The Holy Spirit enables us to live in obedience to God’s Word, no longer chained to our former thoughts and bad habits. Along with forgiveness, we receive both understanding of who God is, and reconciliation with Him. Forgiveness brings great joy and eternal life, to anyone who accepts it.
So what about you? Have you taken the gift of forgiveness out of the box? Are you walking in obedience, leaving behind your former ways? Have you noticed an increased desire to praise God, regardless of your circumstances? Do have the joy of Christ in you?
You can’t give something away unless you have it to give. Forgiveness is a gift that is meant to be passed on. In my next blog I will begin defining the steps of forgiving others. For now, I hope you will spend some time with God, making sure you understand the value of His gift to you.
Aleichem Shalom
~dl.
Understanding Forgiveness – Part One
David. A Symbol of God’s Abundant Pardon?
We all need forgiveness. We all have people we need to exonerate. Though we know we should, and maybe we even know why, most of us do not know “how” to forgive. Sadly, too many people are living as prisoners, bound by the chains of unforgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a human inclination. Whether giving or receiving forgiveness, we tend to reject the idea that it’s the best way. True forgiveness is contingent upon our faith in Jesus. Without Him, forgiveness is impossible!
As we begin to understand the amazing pardon God has made available for us, both to give and receive, it is my hope and prayer that you would experience the freedom in forgiveness and that those chains loosen
God knew it would be hard for us to understand, and because He knew we would always be looking for a “loophole,” God gave us many clear illustrations of what forgiveness really means, infact, it is the central theme of the entire Bible. David’s story was no exception.
David was just a boy when he was hand picked by God to be the future King of Israel. You might remember the story of David and his famous fight with the giant Goliath. David did many wonderful things for God. At one point God even called David, “a man after His own heart.” However, it is David’s fall into sin that is the focus of our attention today.
Why are we focusing on David’s sin, if there was so much that was good about him. The short answer is because God did. “And I will make an everlasting covenant with you, According to the faithful mercies shown to David. Behold I have made him a witness to the peoples.” Isaiah 55:3. God used David’s story as a symbol of His abundant pardon.
Here is a quick synopsis of David’s fall:
After David became King of Israel, the Israelites went to battle against the Syrians. While his army was at war, David remained in the comfort of his palace. At the end of a blistering hot day, David wandered out onto the roof top to enjoy the cool of the evening. From this vantage point, David was able to see into the home of Bathsheba. David’s gaze fell upon this beautiful woman as she was bathing.
Bathsheba was married to Uriah. He was the loyal commander of David’s army. Though David was also married, the temptation was more than he could resist. While Uriah was out fighting for the nation of Israel, David sent for Bathsheba, slept with her, and she became pregnant.
Rather than owning up to his mistake, David tried to cover it up. He sent for Uriah, and on several occasions, tried to manipulate Uriah into sleeping with Bathsheba, to alter the evidence. Uriah, loyal to the army, refused to indulge himself while the others were still at war. When that plan failed, David conspired and intentionally had Uriah sent to the front lines, so that he would be killed in combat.
Because God is Holy, he cannot condone sin. The penalty for sin is death! However, because of His amazing Grace, He had a plan for reconciliation. Even before we knew we needed it – God prepared a way for us. From David’s story, let’s try to grasp the principles God wants us to learn.
Does God have restrictions?
God’s forgiveness is abundant, while we have many conditions. We will forgive some people, but not others. We find some offenses easier to forgive, while others are just too big. We will forgive someone once, maybe twice, but we will not be a doormat for anyone.
In Isaiah 55:8&9 God reminds us, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9. We simply must understand forgiveness from a Godly perspective!
Who Qualifies?
Isaiah 55:1a reads, “HO! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters.” Not long ago I heard an amazing teaching on the single word “Ho.” The word is spoken is a loud shout, coming from the inner soul. It is like a deep groaning that surfaces and cannot be contained. “Ho” portrays God’s longing to get this word out to the people. “Ho! Every one who thirsts,” qualifies for God’s promise. We all have a thirst. It is the deep longing inside each of us that only God can satisfy. Forgiveness from God, it is like water to a parched soul.
How much does it cost?
God accepts us as we are. Because Jesus paid the price on the cross, forgiveness is free to anyone who seeks Him. Isaiah 55:1b. “And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk Without money and without cost.”
How much is too much?
All sin is equal to God. “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.” James 2:10. God does not compare your sin, to mine, or mine to another’s and decide on some scale of “better or worse,” who will receive a pardon and who will not, as we do. You and I, David the murderer, and even Billy Graham, we are all equal to one another in God’s eyes.
What is the limit?
We often limit the number of times we will forgive one another. Imagine if God had said to David, “David, I definitely could have forgiven you, if all you had done was sneak a peak at Bathsheba while she was bathing. Ok, maybe, just maybe, I might have been able to forgive the adultery. Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice shame on Me. But David – three strikes and you are out! You just had to go and murder Uriah. You can’t expect me to forgive you now!” God in His Grace forgave David for His sins.
Time sensitive offer.
“Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is Near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the LORD, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. “ Isaiah 55:6&7
We do not know when our lives will end, nor do we know the life span of another. This is a decision that demands immediate attention.
Have you accepted God’s abundant pardon? Do you have someone you need to forgive?
Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near.
Shalom Aleichem.
~dl.
Meet My Friend Lesley-Anne Evans
I have had so many conversations, particularly with women, but I know it is just as true with men, about their struggle with forgiving others. Too many people are living as prisoners, because they cannot forgive past hurts. Jesus commanded that we forgive one another, but many of us simply do not know how!
The subject of forgiveness is multi-layered, and too much for one blog. A few weeks ago I was praying for some of the people I have had recent conversations with, who were struggling with forgiving past hurts. I was also talking to God about writing a series of blogs on this difficult subject. I’m not kidding… within minutes of praying about it, my friend Lesley-Anne (LA for short) popped up on Facebook, and invited me to be a guest blogger on her site. She was thinking of doing a series on – “forgiveness.” I didn’t even have to question that her invitation was God’s timely response to my prayer. I said yes.
Though my own blogs will appear here on my blog page, the series will be featured on Lesley-Anne’s blog site Buddy Breathing.
We are on a mission to uncover, or discover, the power and freedom through forgiving others. We invite you on this join us.
But first, I would like you to meet my friend Lesley-Anne.
Lesley-Anne Evans is a writer and poet who calls Kelowna, British Columbia her home. She lives her life against the backdrop of mountains, lake, orchards and vineyards, with her handsome husband, three teen kids, and one large hunting-deprived German Pointer.
Referring to herself as ‘writer and poet’ is something that continues to move LA’s heart, as she recognizes what God can do with a very ordinary woman. Writing has become a passion, a calling, and a fulfillment of dreams, but only though God’s prompting and knocking her over the head to make her pay attention.
Just over five years ago Lesley-Anne stepped out on a limb of faith, submitted an article to Okanagan Women’s Magazine, and much to her surprise, was greeted with open arms by the editor. Since then, LA has co-edited an online women’s magazine, written for local paper, magazine and websites, and had poetry and stories published in Australia. She continues to unearth what God has for her next. Ephesians 3:20.
Lesley-Anne’s passion is to use her voice to bring hope to the world, and to come alongside others in discovering and using their voices. Her online writing network “Pink Ink Workshop” just celebrated it’s first year. Lesley-Anne blogs at Buddy Breathing… a blog about hope.
Lesley-Anne and I first met at a Bible study we were both taking. We quickly learned that we had a lot in common, including our desire to share our insights through our writing. I know you are going to love Lesley-Anne’s warm humor, and the way she shares her insights so authentically. It is a great privilege for me to partner with LA for this series.
Aleichem Shalom.
dl.
